Want to learn how to identify appropriate pleasure tools, and understand body-sale items/language, and be able to pre-emptively invest in your pleasure?
To get your desired outcomes or experience pleasure, we have to think about it as an investment not a (secret/sneaky/shameful) indulgence.
We know why and how pleasure is often framed (frivolous, shameful, or optional) but when we really devote ourselves to pleasure and its practices, we can start to see it as health care, mental wellness, and a grounding in our autonomy.
Investing in pleasure tools is not just about monetary investment. It can also be a somatic mindful investment in self!
For example it can be buying toys, experiences, medicinal items OR it can be practicing mindful masturbation/ sensate focused touching (see here: What is sensate post) .
Like stated many times before, we are taught to deprioritize pleasure and prioritize capitalism and producdtivity (to the point of burn out and self sacrifice) Gender and racialized expectations, purity culture, the un-inclusive sex education (I could go on) all teach us one thing: pleasure is an afterthought.
The cost of this thought process? Neglect, disconnection, resentment, numbness.
Let’s do the opposite!
Start to invest in pleasure by
- MAKING TIME
- Making space for exploration without urgency or performance
- Scheduling pleasure without guilt
- Solo pleasure as legitimate and nourishing
- Setting Intentions
- Choosing pleasure that restores rather than drains
- Listening to your body’s yes/no signals
- Letting pleasure evolve over time
- Reframe your thoughts:
- Toys are support, not replacement
- Using tools are to increase access, not pressure outcomes
Got it? Great! Now, here are some things to look out for when you start investing:
Other things to consider depending on your ability/ disability:
- Grip strength and dexterity
- Size, flexibility, and adaptability
- Sensory sensitivity (noise, vibration intensity, texture)
- Gender-neutral and non-anatomy-restrictive designs
Now if were debating on vibrating vs not, consider these categories:
A. External Stimulation Tools
- Vibrators, suction tools, textured surfaces
- Adjustable settings and (mostly) quiet motors
- I.e. Pocket sleeves, wands, prostate massagers
B. Internal Stimulation Tools
- Size-inclusive, flexible, and beginner-friendly designs
- I.e. penetrative toys
D. Non-Vibrating & Sensory Tools
- Temperature play, texture, pressure
- I.e. Floggers, chains, blindfolds, you name it.
Regardless, more toys doesn’t always equal more or better pleasure. Take your discovery at your own pace and come back to this when buying if you need!
You may still be thinking:
“It’s selfish” “I don’t deserve it yet” “Toys are only for people who are single / partnered / kinky” “Expensive means better”
But thats not true! You can be budget friendly, start slowly, and aim for exploration not outcome. Start with curiosity, and if it doesn’t work for you that doesn’t mean you failed, you just learned a little more about your body.
Pleasure is essential, not optional and we should make it a part of our daily lives (whatever that may look like for you).
You are allowed to feel good and investing in pleasure can mean supporting your mental health, embodiment, and connection.If you are curious about the toys I make: Take a look HERE
Lifewflo 
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