So, now that we have a basic understanding of Colonialism, pleasure, kink, and non-monogamy, let’s dive a little further into why each topic is just as important as the last.
Most of us grew up watching sex ed videos where everyone was white, straight, cis, and able-bodied. The rest of us learned to disappear. Queer, trans, and BIPOC experiences are ignored, pathologized, and presented as abnormal.
In traditional sex ed there’s no mention of queer sex, same-gender touch, or pleasure that isn’t penetrative. In traditional therapy they pathologize queer identities and label kink and polyamory as trauma responses.In the media we are oversexualized or erased. In Academia there is clear research bias—most data comes from white participants.
When our stories aren’t in the curriculum, we end up thinking our pleasure isn’t real.
BUT not here!
If you haven’t caught on yet, diving into kink, pleasure, non-monogamy, and non-normative sex/relationship styles is a form of reclaiming our pleasure. We are no longer asking for permission; we are storming in and demanding inclusive, diverse, and informed spaces for us to thrive in.
Get in babes, we’re going to take up SPACE!
Queering Sex Ed is reimagining it from the Ground Up. “Queering” is not about making something gay, but is about challenging norms, expanding definitions, and making space for multiplicity.
Queer sex ed looks like:
- Centering consent, not control.
- Teaching sex beyond binaries.
- Using inclusive language.
- Normalizing gender euphoria and fluidity as part of sexual health.
Queering sex ed in therapy calls for
- Using clients’ language for their bodies.
- Recognizing cultural trauma in how clients experience desire or shame.
- Avoiding assumptions of hetero or monogamous frameworks.
Reclaiming pleasure as BIPOC folks means naming pleasure as resistance. Colonication disconnected BIPOC from embodied joy, pleasure, and consent, through purity culture, religion, assimilation, and so much more. Reconnecting is reclaiming our ancestry, self determination, healing, and non-colonial forms of pleasure.
For example, afro-brasilian and indigenous sexual traditions that centered pleasure and spirituality in their day to day practice before colonization (SEE: Mehinaku Sexuality Traditions https://www.nytimes.com/1985/05/12/books/eros-by-the-xingu.html).
Our bodies became politicized, preventing us from enjoying them.
But here’s the thing, I am not teaching/ writing you all this purely for representation. No no- Representation is not the end goal — liberation is.
I am writing this so you understand that advocating for inclusive sex education curricula, supporting BIPOC therapists and educators and challenging bias in your professional settings (schools, clinics, community orgs) are a START to the path towards liberation. To get there you have to be informed, inform others, and continue to challenge the standards with whatever platform you have.
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